You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
