I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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