Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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