who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
