and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
