So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
