While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
