you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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