I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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