at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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