all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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