So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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