Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
FUCK WHALES
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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