Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
