my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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