I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
