She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
