And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
