No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
