So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm just crazy horny about you
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
