If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize