you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
