dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just forgot I was standing up.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
