too bad you live with your parents still
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
