Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
