my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Randomize
