We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
