Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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