New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
