His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Your penis caused this!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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