I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
