If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
