maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
