I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
