What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
