GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
