I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
No subtext here. People are naked.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
