so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
