butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
