she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
