thus making me awesome and them whores
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
