why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
