Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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