Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
