M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
then he tried to convert me to islam
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
