i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
