My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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