when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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