A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
