the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
