i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I fill condoms, not promises.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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